moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize