Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
