so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
