I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
