the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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