Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
