They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
