erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
