Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
