Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
