do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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