is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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