Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
