his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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