best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
