I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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