I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
