Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
