dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
