I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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