You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
