Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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