This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
