we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
