On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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