He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So much rum. So many feels.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
