I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize