it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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