Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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