I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
operation have a gay friend backfired
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
