haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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