We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
