I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
