Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
