i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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