I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
