what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize