Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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