2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
