he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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