Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize