If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I love having hate sex.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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