I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize