put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
