At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
