whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
