I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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