Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize