My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
