Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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