"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
