we have officially lost it.
Me too!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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