Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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