One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This is my gift to your gina
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
