Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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