i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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