he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There's even glitter on my cock...
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