Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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