"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
