why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
